I tried to hide, but...

I tried to hide, but my dear friends wouldn't let me. I'm so glad they didn't - I ended up having such a fabulous birthday! I thought I'd share some cool stories from the day.

It started with a phone call from my parents Monday night. They traditionally call me to sing happy birthday each year... and this year was no different, except my Dad ended each verse with a beautiful "a day early!" So cute.

At 2:00am, my phone rang. It was Mike calling from Sweden! However, when I answered, he said "why are you answering?!" I replied "Uh, Mike? You called! And you're in Sweden! Why wouldn't I answer?" He said "No no no! Hang up. I want your voicemail." So I did, and he called back twice. In the morning, I checked my voicemail - message 1: "Erin! It's your birthday, so I'm going to play you a song! And.... uh.... oh crap, YouTube doesn't work. Bye." message 2: "Erin! Listen! ...then he played some birthday clappy song... Bye!" Hahaha... gotta love Mike.

At 11:30am, I went to a board meeting for one of my associations, and they surprised me with flowers! For the record, I haven't received flowers in, oh, maybe 2 years or more. I love those guys - they are the sweetest group ever (and part of what makes my job so special.)

At 5:00pm, I met with my long lost gemini twin Kris (and D) and we toasted our shared birthday with champagne. It was absolutely amazing to be with those two... it had been far too long, though, as always, it seems like we'd all hung out just yesterday.
Then at 7:00pm, D & I headed to meet my friends at the Black Sheep Lodge. Maggie wouldn't let me not celebrate my birthday, so she planned a happy hour/dinner. There were more gifts, friends, and a fabulous cake made by my dear Alisa. It was the tackiest, most beautiful cake ever.
The most surprising present for me came from Jerry. Oh gosh, how thoughtful that man is. After hearing me rave about the Westbank Library, to which I no longer technically belong to as I don't live in the right zip code, he got me my very own Westbank library card. Seriously. Is that not perfect or what.

So... I really am not a fan of people gushing attention on me. It makes me uncomfortable. But, I'm going to stop being so resistant... I have wonderful people in my life so I'm going to enjoy them, damnit! Thanks for a great birthday. As my Facebook status read, I really do feel loved!

Guardian Angels

My life is full of guardian angels. Some of them, ah hem, even work behind my back so that I can't sneak around like I want to. They make me cry too, but in a good way.

When I ran my first marathon, guardian angel Maggie was there, pushing my back, telling me to move forward. I will never ever forget that. Then we finished together, hand in hand. When I ran the Goofy Challenge, she ran my last Austin-run with me and then surprised me with a home-made "good luck" bag filled with all kinds of marathon goodies. I've done my best to return the love back to her.... For instance, I got to sherpa for her at Ironstar in 2007. (Elbows up... Side to Side!!!)Anyway, I got pretty teary eyed yesterday during our final Ironman meeting at T3. We watched a video from the 2008 CDA IM and one of the things that really struck me was excitement/enthusiasm/love/etc. from the families and supporters on the course. I was reminded of how lucky we are at T3 to have a giant extended family supporting us on June 21st. But what really brought me to tears was thinking about my guardian angel Maggie. She is coming to CdA and going to be my personal sherpa! How did I get to be so blessed that I have my own personal MaggieSherpa to be there for me on race day?!! I have someone to share the experience with from the outside... someone who will be yelling words of support all day, updating my family, taking care of my needs and treating me like an IM princess. Knowing she will be there has taken a huge weight off of my shoulders and nearly doubled my excitement!
Thank you Maggie, and all my guardian angels. I'm so very blessed.

Three Weeks Out.

I have wanted to blog my thoughts lately so badly, yet the words just wouldn't come out. I've sat down to blog numerous times, then shut it down and walked away. However, being that today was the last day of real "work" in my training for Ironman (i.e. now we begin 3 weeks of taper/rest/recovery), I think it's a good time to reflect on where I am. I'll give it my best.

On June 23, 2008, at about 2:00pm, I sat in my office shrieking at the confirmation page on my laptop. "This message is generated as confirmation of your recent registration on Active.com. You have been successfully registered for the following: Registration:2009 Ford Ironman Coeur d'Alene."

"Holy Shit," I thought. "What the hell did I just do?"

I'll be honest. I had no intention of actually doing Ironman. I was having a FOMO (fear of missing out) moment, chatting with Dionn and looking at the T3 message boards. Every minute another few people would add their comments to the Ironman Coeur D'Alene post: "In." I remember thinking that I had earned nearly enough to pay for this thing from my cycling studies at UT. So I didn't feel like I would be losing money. I also thought: I would hate to miss out in case I change my mind and decide I do want to do IMCDA. And, well, everyone else is doing it. I have said I always wanted to do an Ironman, why not now.

I'll be honest again... life, outside of triathlon, was a mental mess. I was in the midst of major changes and major decisions. Besides, I thought you had to have some solid, inner reasoning, longing and committment in order to commit to Ironman. I didn't have any of that. Yes, I will always consider Dionn my guardian angel, for she gave me the final nudge I needed to register for CDA. (Damnit if that woman doesn't have all-knowing super powers.)

So I registered for CDA and something strange happened... I had a goal, looming in the future. Not one I had to think about anytime soon, but something out in the future to look forward to. I'll be honest, it was a good feeling. Something that I could do for me...devote myself to... escape into, even.

However, as the time to begin the 6 month periodization training grew near, my mind was consumed with everything but Ironman. Add running injuries to the equation, and my outlook was not looking good. I hoped that my attitude would change as June came nearer. Thankfully, I was at least willing to give my attitude some time.

Come January, I mostly stayed a hermit from T3 practices, swimming on my own at the gym, doing the run workouts alone, and convincing Esther to ride my long rides with me, away from the team. I was depressed about my complete lack of fitness. I was discouraged to see everyone else making so much progress while I stayed stagnant, sometimes even reinjuring myself.

But, little by little, things did get better. I started to give up my need for control and my obsession with returning to the athletic state I had achieved in 2008. I got some wise advice: "Just give it time. Stop beating yourself up and be patient." I tried my best to follow it.

I also had some key things that shifted my outlook to a more positive direction. Off the top of my head, some of these were:
1) Running & walking 10 miles (partly with Alisa and Carrie, then on my own) and realizing that it would be okay to walk an Ironman. (My biggest fear was suddenly alleviated that day.)
2) Meeting Natalie at swim practice and forming a Barton Springs/Swim team that would carry me through the open water swim schedule.
3) Some key long bikes, including the 75 mile Flex Team ride on Parmer, the ride I managed to hang on to Opre's Angels, the Armadillo Classic with Katy, and then finally this weekend's long ride where I ate Fitzhough up. (finally!)
4) So many runs with Alisa (and the rest of the bunnies) - though Alisa became my running angel this season.
5) Developing a love for morning spin classes and an unspoken promise to Esther that I would always show up.
6) Lonestar Half Iron.

And lastly, but I think most important:
7) Going to the Art Festival & going to Dallas. Realizing that I didn't have to compromise the things most important to me in order to achieve this goal gave me something more valuable than all of my training - an appreciation of balance.

Who would have thought that just 10-15 hours per week, devoted to running, biking, swimming or getting your butt kicked in Coach Pain's core classes, would offer some of life's best insights?
Yet, through this training I have learned patience - not everything has to happen right here, right now. I have learned trust - that things will work out and be okay, even if it seems near impossible at the time. I have learned how to (sometimes) give up my ego, and be truly happy for others without the need to compare myself. And, little by little, I'm learning acceptance - that I am okay the way I am, and people love me regardless of the stuff I seem to place so much importance on.

If you would have told me 5 months ago, as I froze and cried riding down 360 and only barely collected myself in a coffee shop with Esther, that I would be in this mental place... I would have laughed in your face. But I'm here... I'm in a place of loving this training, loving my friends and loving what I've accomplished. Oddly enough, much of the things causing me so much turmoil haven't changed. But my outlook has changed.

Training for Ironman has been a lesson in humility, patience, trust and committment. It's about hanging on in the face of adversity and believing that you really are capable of whatever you put your mind to.

Mind you, that's what training is. I can only imagine what completing is.

I've been so dismissive of what lies ahead on June 21st. (Probably my protective nature mixed in with a healthy dose of ignorance.) However, today I am ready to embrace it. Three weeks of tapering, planning, pondering, reflecting and preparation, and then a day where I will learn more about myself than perhaps any other day of my life.

By the way, in reference to learning to appreciate balance: I don't have any *big* goals lined up post Ironman. There is a huge part of me that is scared of not having something ahead, and scared of the unknown, really. However, I'm giving up fear and instead I'm going to embrace whatever lies ahead in my life. I have more confidence than ever that I will always land on my feet and that I can do anything if I just believe in myself.

(If I never made it to CDA, I would be okay. It will be the icing on the cake, definitely. But I happily can say that I have loved every piece of the cake. I am full, and I am thankful.)

Cap Tex

Another triathlon comes and goes without me entering the waters of Lady Bird Lake. (I consider this to be a great success!) However, I got plenty of water on me as I, along with some of my T3 teammates, pulled nearly 3,000 people out of the water Monday morning.

In years past, I always volunteered for body marking. The benefits of this job are: 1) you are finished before the race starts, 2) you get to write all over the arms and legs of beautiful, fit triathletes, and 3) you get to write all over the arms and legs of beautiful, fit triathletes. :)

However, T3 does the swim - so this year, I did the swim. Alisa, Katy, Ben, Jess, Dionn, Mike, Lisa, Robert, Sunday & I were stationed at the swim exit, pulling athletes out of the water, ripping down their wetsuit cords, stabilizing them as they moved from horizontal to vertical, and handing them their legs.

Yes, that's right, I wrote "handing them their legs." I was so amazed at the disabled athletes who competed, unassisted, without arms or legs. Talk about inspiring! However, the running laugh of yesterday was about the moment when Katy, trying to encourage an athlete to "stand up, you can do it!" was greeted with "no, I can't stand." Meanwhile, I was tapping Katy with the athlete's prosthetic leg, saying "Katy, really, he can't stand." If the athlete wasn't such a great spirit about it, it might have been incredibly awkward. Instead, he was a great sport, and thus gave us great fodder to tease Katy the rest of the day.

Add some jokes about armpit hair, Ben continually yelling "just 3 more strokes", athletes grabbing Alisa in inappropriate places, white tri shorts (WTF?!), a USA flag speedo, and tons of smiles and thank-you's.... well, you've got yourself a damn good CapTex Triathlon. Nice work, team!

Here are a few shots from the amazing Gordon McGregor. Check out the rest HERE.

Above: Dionn, Katy & me
Below: Ben, Dionn and me (probably reliving why D was so happy to be volunteering and not swimming!)

All Smiles

I'm not sure if it's because it's Friday, or because I had a fun (work!) trip to & from Houston, or because I slept in (til 6am!) and am taking it easy today.... but I cannot stop smiling.

Or laughing.

Or plotting my world domination.

Mwahahahahaha.

Seriously, I know that life has its ups & downs, but today is a beautiful, wonderful day...

And I love it!

Batter Up!

I was reading the comics, and this was today's Peanuts! I can't help but laugh in recognition!!!

I never played on a sports team. This may be partially because I never showed any interest in team sports and partially because my dad is smart. He recognized at a very early point in my life that he was tired of chasing softballs all over the yard because I had no hand-eye coordination, skill, endurance or talent.

So, I was a cheerleader instead. Loved it then, and still love it now. You need a pep talk? I'm your girl! I always prefer cheering to playing. Less accountability, more fun! At least that's what I tell myself.

Anyway, there is something I want to do, but I'm scared because it involves an election... a popularity contest, to be more accurate... and judgment about whether or not I am worthy to win. Perhaps I'm totally making this out to be something bigger than it is - and wow, I *never* do that - but, it is what it is. Meaning, it may be small, but to me - it's important. Also, I'm very afraid to lose.

Today, I got the pep talk. "Please do not back out now. You can't hit the home-run unless you get up to bat and swing."

Gotta remember this one, it's so simple but so true.

... Batter Up!

Never Follow Your Passion

Mike Rowe, the host of Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel, wrote this in the business magazine Fast Company: "Never follow your passion, but by all means bring it with you.

""Follow your passion' is the worst advice you can give someone," he says. "Exhibit A: our 200 dirty jobs—Rene the fish gutter, or the guy who makes flowerpots out of cow shit. Once they found a thing they could make a living from, they figured out how to get great at it and how to love it. If you bring your passion with you, you can apply it to anything that makes sense. If you follow it, you're going to be miserable until X, Y, Z happens, which might be never."

Interesting perspective. A reminder that there are always different ways of looking at things.

RENT!

I have been a Renthead since February 14, 1998. I first saw Rent in Dallas at the Majestic Theatre. I loved it so much that I went to buy the soundtrack the next day. They didn't have it on tape, so I bought my very first CD player just so I could listen to the CD. I saw the Puccini's opera La Boheme that summer at Bass in Forth Worth. I brought in the millennium when I saw Rent again on Broadway - just days after the new year. I drove Jenna (my college roommate) crazy pretending that I was Mimi, running around our room singing "Out Tonight."

Last night, I saw Rent yet again. The original stars, Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal starred. Elizabeth & I had amazing seats - 10 rows back, dead center. (Thanks, D!) I have to say, it was the best I've ever seen. I laughed, I cried, I poked at Elizabeth, I resisted singing the entire soundtrack (which I know by heart) and I smiled the entire time.

I am at a loss for words at how amazing the show was. I'm just so happy I went... perhaps one of the best nights I have had in as long as I can remember.

frozen corn

Working from home definitely has its advantages. Frozen corn makes for an excellent ice pack.

In case you were wondering what my calf stretcher looked like, here it is. I spent a lot of time like this in Dallas, and I am proud to report that I now use it every day.

Mentally, I am feeling fantastic. Perhaps the best I've felt all season. My body is a bit beat up, but I'm going to focus the next few weeks on good nutrition, stretching, icing and quality time with my compression socks.

I'm almost there!!!!!!

current status

Here's my current Facebook Status:

Erin is smiling at being told this: I know you can take it. You're an animal. One that hibernates from time to time. But a serious badass animal none the less.

I like that! It makes me giggle. :) By the way, I think I'm done hibernating for the time being. I'm actually quite happy to be out in the world lately!

The Best Mother's Day

I celebrated Mother's Day a week early this year. I was so excited to spot an easy training weekend that I called my parents instantly to see if they wanted to visit me. (Perhaps how a 75 mile ride + 9 mile run became an "easy weekend" is another post all together. Anyway...)

My parents are very smart people. The conversation went like this:

E: I just looked at my training calendar and I'm thinking this upcoming weekend would be a great one for you guys to visit me! I have a long bike ride, but otherwise we'd have lots of time with each other.

D(ad): That's great news honey! Let me get your mom on the phone... pause... Carol, Erin wants us to come visit her this weekend.

M(om): Why don't you come visit us, honey?

E: Um, because I asked y'all first! Yay for YOU guys driving, not me! Unless, well, I guess I could drive... hmmmm....

D: I'll take you to the gym and we can work out together!

M: I'll buy you tons of fresh fruit and anything else you want!

D: We'll play lots of Scrabble, and I'll save the crosswords for you!

M: And the Cottonwood Art Festival is this weekend, we could all go to that!

E: OKAY!!! ... pause... Dammit, you guys got me where it counts.

Like I said, my parents are clever. Dangle an art festival in front of me and I'm there.

So, I packed up early on Friday and headed to Dallas for the weekend. It was fantastic - relaxed, laid back, full of movies, crosswords, food, Scrabble, art and SHOPPING! Shopping?! I hate shopping. I will do anything to avoid shopping. However, it's become very clear that my 5 year old running and biking apparel are not getting the job done anymore. After mentioning this to my mom, she insisted that we go look for new gear. I'll be honest, one thing I hate more than shopping is having other people buy stuff for me. Maybe it's a Jewish guilt thing, but I just don't like it. My mom, on the other hand, loves buying stuff for me. So, who am I to refuse her such pleasure.

After 2 hours in Richardson Bike Mart (which had Grease Monkey Wipes on the shelves!!!), Run On & Academy, I walked away with 3 pairs of bike shorts, 6 pairs of bike socks, 2 pairs of running shorts, 3 running tops, a new pair of shoes, 2 packages of body glide, and a calf stretcher. (My very own calf stretcher - what every girl wants!!) I told my folks I don't ever want to know the total of those receipts. I really would never have purchased that stuff on my own. But I am so thankful to them for all of my new stuff, and I can't wait to try it all out.

My mother had never reminded me more of my grandmother than she did this weekend. She said that shopping for me, and buying me new stuff, was the best mother's day gift ever. I've mentioned before how selfless she is - and this weekend was no different. (Except I got to be the really big benefactor this time!)

Yes, of course the stuff I brought home is fantastic. But more so, I am just overwhelmed with gratitude of how much my parents care about me and want me to be happy. They are 100% behind me in whatever I want to do - and in this case - they are doing everything they can to ensure I am successful at Ironman. Rather than expressing how crazy they think I am, they have embraced it because they know it makes me happy. I am one lucky girl.

Good times!

Boats & Imaginary Friends

I'm seeing trends in the themes of art I like. I used to favor pieces with trees, and then I really became attached to works with birds. Now I'm obviously moving into a "boat" phase. Saw this on Amanda Blake's blog this afternoon.... I love it.

Clover's Imaginary Friend NavigatesBy the way, I want an imaginary friend who will navigate for me. I think I'm doing a fairly good job, but every now and then I'd like to hand over the steering wheel. I guess we all want that, huh?

ART CITY AUSTIN! WAHOO!!!!

There is one event that I look forward to every year. (That is a giant understatement.) Okay, I kinda plan everything around this event. I have not missed it in 8 years. I am either there when the gates open, or oftentimes before. When I used to have spare time, I volunteered for the organization that puts on this event. The event? Art City Austin!!! 200+ artists... a real life adult playground just for me! (and the rest of the city too, I suppose...)

However, when I looked at my training schedule and saw that Art City Austin conflicted with a 100 mile bike ride, I was crushed. (That is not a giant understatement.) I'm committed to Ironman. I'm committed to training. But I LOVE the art festival. So, what's a girl to do?

To complicate matters, I didn't know anyone staying in town to ride 100. Everyone was heading to Bastrop for a T3 camping trip or to Johnson City for a ride/winery day. So this would mean 6+ hours on the bike, plus water/rest stops, plus drive time. Art Festival was not going to happen Saturday. Plus... what's the point of going if I'm not there when it opens. The best art goes quick... so an early arrival is imperative. Yes, I said imperative. This is not my first time at the rodeo.

Somehow, I convinced Alisa to run with me on Friday morning so that I could at least have weekend options. At 5:30am on Friday, I took her on a full tour of Austin and we knocked out an awesome run - perhaps even the best of the year. Then I had but a few minutes to clean up and head to a golf tournament which I worked at until 7:30pm. I was pretty tired that evening and after some Facebook pondering, made the decision that I needed some BALANCE. (And rest... but mainly balance.) Saturday would be Art Fest Day!

Best decision ever. Well, maybe not ever - but definitely this weekend. It's hard for me to put into words how much I love the art festival. In addition to the art, part of what I love is the relationships I have formed with the artists. For instance, I've been collecting Jill Mayberg's work for years now... and knowing her makes her pieces that much more special for me. There is a painting she did that I've always regretted not buying, and this year Jill had a little (and better) version of the same theme. I snagged it and I'm thrilled!!! Here it is:

Then I found a new artist - Gene Brown - and just fell in love with his pieces. I start to recognize all the "regulars" at the shows, so new artists are very exciting. I knew the instant I saw this painting, called "late night revelers" that I had to have it. There were 2 others that I could have just as easily purchased, but I think I got his best one. (Of course, that's why I bought it!)
There were tons of other artists that I hadn't seen before. My new favorite was Will Corr, and if I was rich, I would have bought at least three of his pieces. There was a new scratchboard artist, Kristian Rangel, whose work I could have looked at for hours - he had some serious talent and creativity. I got to meet Wendy Mackey in person - I have a piece of hers that I scored at an Arthouse 5x7 show. I was amazed at the giant sculptures by Todji Kurtzman, came SO close to buying a piece by Adam Homan, and I loved seeing new work by old friends Anthony Pak and Terry Powell. (I have to say I really missed my friend Barbara Franklet - I can never leave her booth without walking away with something... but alas, she's enjoying life in New Zealand!)

Needless to say, I am so happy that I chose the art festival. Triathlons are great... but I'm not willing to sacrifice the things that make me genuinly happy in order to make a workout. It feels good to know that, without guilt hanging over my head either.

And... this morning, I did manage to knock out a long ride. It wasn't the full scheduled distance, it wasn't the suggested route, but it was a great ride anyway - probably better than one I would have done yesterday, to be honest. I'm happy to say that the weekend worked out just great, and I didn't have to sacrifice a thing.

Now, if anyone wants to help me figure out where to hang everything... come on over!

I kinda wish...

...that IMCdA was tomorrow. That way I could knock it out and "resume" normal life.

And that's where I am today.

Maybe...

I love this...

1. Maybe . . . when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.

2. Maybe . . . we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

3. Maybe . . it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

4. Maybe . . . the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

5. Maybe . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

6. Maybe . .. you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

7. Maybe . . there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

8. Maybe . . the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

9.. Maybe . . . you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

10. Maybe . . you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

11. Maybe . . giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

12. Maybe . . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

13. Maybe . . you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

14. Maybe . . ... you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.

Some random IM training thoughts...

After a really hard weekend, I'm glad to say that I'm still smiling and energized. I thought I'd share some thoughts on my current mental state...

1) I think the weekend I just completed was perhaps the hardest weekend to date - at least for me. I only made 17 out of the 20+ miles I was supposed to run yesterday. My body had not hurt that much all year, and I frankly had nothing left to give. Today was much luckily much better, granted the wind was killer for half of the 90 mile ride. My legs actually felt fine, but mentally I was done at mile 80, and knowing I had to run for an hour made it all the worse. If it hadn't been for Katy, I wouldn't have made it out of the parking lot. This weekend was all about "getting it done" & "just make forward motion." Yet, I now have 2 more big building blocks to add to my IM pyramid.

2) Looking at the upcoming training weekends, they don't seem so bad. I feel nuts for saying that, but a 100 mile ride (with no brick run) and a 20 mile run weekend doesn't seem too bad. How did I get to this place?!

3) I'm still not sure why I hate running so much. Katy asked me point blank today, and I didn't have a good answer. Can we say "MENTAL?" I'm gonna work on that. I really have no fears about IM at all except for the run. And that will take up a huge part of my day... great... (sorry, Amy, I will work it at. Your pep talk will stay in the back of my mind....)

4) I don't know if I'll ever want to do this again, but I sure am glad I'm doing it now. It is so fun to work towards such a huge goal with such an awesome group of people.

5) I learn something new every single time I go for a workout. Today I learned that I need to take some type of caffeine on the bike, or else I end up with a huge headache. These findings won't change the world, of course, but they are really interesting to me.

6) My parents are, as usual, awesome. Every time I talk to them, they want to know how my workout was, how far I went, how I'm feeling, what my outlook is. They think I am crazy, but they have fully embraced my training with me. I am so thankful for their interest and support and encouragement.

7) Whenever things get really tough, I just think about "Ironman: The Musical" and I can't help but smile.

8) More than anything, I have most enjoyed my time with my training partners. Take just this weekend: I had the best time this afternoon hanging out in the parking lot, sweaty and stinky and tired, with Alisa, Elizabeth, Katy & Cindy. I could have given Jim the sweatiest hug ever given how sweet and encouraging he was after our workout. I was so inspired watching Jess hammer out of sight on the bike. I loved running with Alisa, Amy & Natalie yesterday- they pulled me the whole time and I was never without a laugh for more than a few minutes. I love that Maggie always checks in on me after every long workout and encourages me. I have really loved watching Priscilla's 180 adjustment about IM - and it has certainly inspired me and many others. And... seeing everyone's encouragement and excitement every night on Facebook is really cool! (I often wonder what my non-tri friends think of our workout posts...) I'm a huge believer in sharing the things that make you happy, and I feel blessed to have these people to share with.

9) Compression socks are damn sexy. And by sexy, I mean - not sexy whatsoever, but wow they sure help my legs feel better!

10) We only have six more weeks of hard workouts! Then three weeks of taper! I can't believe this has gone so fast!!!! I'm trying so hard not to get ahead of myself, but I already know that I'm going to miss this training so much in ten weeks. So, I'm going to keep embracing it and not have any regrets. Time is really starting to fly now, and I want to enjoy it all.

Mojo Rising

Just a quick update about training... since I've been a bit remiss in posting about it, and instead like to talk art & wishes & other psychobabble stuff....

To reiterate, I had an AMAZING time at Lonestar. More than anything, I gained the necessary confidence that I can do Ironman, not feel horrible and maybe maintain some semblance of dignity. More than that, I remembered that training is FUN. I had kinda forgotten.

Anyway, post Lonestar, I've been chomping at the bit to do my workouts. Last week started easy with a recovery ride around the neighborhood with Ben. Tuesday, I pushed through spin, a hard run, and then was exhausted by core on Wednesday. I bailed on my open water swim because I was too tired. (Funny, apparently one needs some recovery time after a half ironman.) But I was back at it Thursday, with spin, a run, and T3 swim. I got to join Elizabeth & crew Friday morning for the week's open water swim. Loved it, even though I swam face first into the stairwell railing. (HOW does one do that? Seriously, face first?) I got talent, people!

Then after working at my company's golf tournament all day Friday, I managed - somehow - to hang on to Esther & Jess, and then Opre's Angels (i.e. a pretty intense group of T3 cyclists) during the 75 mile long ride on Saturday. Somehow, my usual "take it easy, no need to push it" voice was taken over by the "you CAN hang with them, Erin - just push it!" voice. It was incredibly hard, but thanks to some strategically located stop lights, I managed to hang with them.

Sunday was the long run. I am so thankful Alisa ran with me. We "ran" 16 miles, and it was TOUGH. Luckily, Alisa is one of the funniest people I know and kept me going and laughing. I won't say the run was a good one, but we got it done with smiles on our faces. (At one point, I pleaded for 5/5's - run 5, walk 5 - but she wouldn't let me. She did allow us to end slightly early and do all our stretching on the Congress Avenue Bridge!)

This week is rocking already, and it's only Tuesday. I'm really enjoying going back to T3 swim practices. The workouts are TOUGH and my lanemates certainly push me harder than I normally would swim. Today, I did a mini triathlon all before 2pm. Awesome spin class with Coach Pain this morning, tempo run around the trail at lunch, and a 3600m swim at Barton Springs. Funny thing, I still have TONS of energy. (Which will be put to good use since I'll be working all evening.) I only have one more thing on my schedule this week (one hour core class) and I technically could take off until Saturday. It's a possibility, considering I'll be attempting a 90 mile ride + 1 hour run on Saturday, and a 20+ mile run on Sunday.

At any rate, I'm really having FUN with this. I'm excited to go to practices. I'm being better about my nutrition. I'm getting more sleep. AND I'm making sure to spend lots of time with my friends, too - ensuring I keep a healthy balance in place.

So, with 10 or so weeks until Ironman, I am happy to report that I am very very, well... happy. I'm doing everything I can to keep this mojo close and bring it with me June 21st.

Where is Door / Not Door?

Mike gave my Wishing Tree post a C minus. (BOO!! BOO!!!!) But I can take constructive criticism. :) So, to bump my post up to an A+, here is the location of Door / Not Door.

On the Town Lake (Lady Bird Lake) Trail, head east past the 5 1/4 mile marker, slightly past the Comal Street entrance, and look on your left. It's there, hidden between the trees.

Check it out & make a wish!

Wishing Tree & Door/Not Door

Somewhere at Greene Family Camp in Bruceville, Texas - there is a tree growing like an upside down wishbone. This tree is special because it stores countless dreams and wishes. I remember often as a kid waiting my turn to stand between the branches, placing each hand out to my side against the tree bark, closing my eyes and making a wish.

There is something so magical, yet so comforting, about traditions like the Wishing Tree. For me, I have a hard time simplifying what I want. I also have a hard time being honest with what I truly want, and then even admitting it. But you can't help but be honest in the wishing tree, or that second before you blow out your birthday candles, or just before you crack the wishbone.

I really miss the simplicity of a wish. It's not a goal, not something we have to work hard at, not something we have to strive to achieve. Instead, it's simple. It just is.

When I went for my easy 3 mile run this afternoon, I spotted something new along the trail. It wasn't obvious like the Giant Mushroom Forest but I felt very drawn to it. What I discovered was a stunning piece called "Door/Not Door" by Ryah Chistensen. Like the mushrooms, it is part of the City's Art in Public Places. It's a tall mosiac that actually simulates a tree, with an opening in the middle which I felt compelled to pass through. As I stood in the middle, I put both hands to the side and made a wish. For a second, I felt 10 years old again, simplifying everything I want in my life in just five words.

It's funny, the last sentence of Ryah's artist statment reads, "I hope that in making this piece I can call your attention to such portals in this and any environment that are inviting you to change, shift, renew…"

Well done, Ryah. Thanks for giving Austin our own beautiful wishing tree.

Lonestar. Check.

I just didn't feel like writing a race report about Lonestar, but I promised Jim I would. So here goes....

I had this little itty bitty training workout to do on Sunday. And by training workout, I mean race. And by itty bitty, I mean just a little half Ironman. No biggie, right? I mean, I did spend six months last year training for race of similar magnitude named Longhorn. Meh, whatever.

I probably sound pretty sarcastic, which is usually the correct assumption, but this really was my attitude. And I think it provided me one of the best races I've ever had.

I had been out of town since Thursday for work and hadn't give the race much more thought than what I needed to pack. (That thought took all of 20 minutes, so it wasn't much.) Even race morning, I went and set up transition but went back to my hotel room to do the puzzles from my leftover USA Todays. Walked down to transition only a few minutes before the start, hung out with the team, got in the water for my wave, and... "hey, wait a minute! this water is salty! oh yeah, it's the gulf - duh! we are swimming in the ocean! wait, i'm about to swim 1.2 miles in the ocean!? maybe i should have given this more thought. oh well, go with it."

Swim was rather uneventful. If you could have recorded it, I would sound like this: "Breath, Burp. Breath, Burp." For nearly 40 minutes. Awesome! Out of the swim, into wetsuit stripping. Saw the biggest guy there, pointed "you!" and was instantly stripped. (Thanks for the tip, Ali!)

I then headed over to get my bike, which I had not rode since I put race wheels on it and was essentially taking a gamble that they would take. Eh, whatever, not much I could do at this pint! Hopped on and opted for a steady, somewhat easy ride. Took it very easy for the first 10 miles, then got in my zone and didn't think much until Natalie passed me and yelled "let's take on Ben!" "Uh, no thanks, Nat! But thanks for playing!" :) I just did my own thing, concentrated on nutrition, and surveyed all the hurricane damage. I ended up with a solid, steady ride; honestly, I was surprised that 55 miles had ticked by so quickly.
Dismounted my bike, walked it over to my spot, and then sat down. Pondered if I would go run or not. Put on my gear and went and had a little conversation with Logan about whether or not I really felt like going on. I was happy thus far, no need to continue. He basically shoved me out of transition and politely told me "Go run, Erin. Go." Thanks, Logan. :)

The run was where I surprised myself. Recently I've returned to the run/walk method and have been running pretty slowly (for me, compared to last year.) I figured I'd walk most of the run... but for some reason, I didn't. I actually felt okay. I was shuffling along quite nicely, in fact. No pain, good nutrition, lots of fun cheering for the team... all in all, I really just ticked off the miles without too much thought. I will admit that I did have a little motivation, as I knew Elizabeth was behind me and I made a goal for her not to catch me. If she had, I'd been thrilled for her (much like I was thrilled when Laura blew by me) - but she certainly served as a good motivator not to walk. (Thanks, E!) I would walk a little through some aid stations, and when I saw friends on the course, but that was it. And I felt fine. What a shock.

Every race I've done with a goal in mind, I give up once I know I've reached that goal. I don't keep pushing, I just want the pain to end. This race was different. Once I figured out I could break 6 hours, and I had just under 30 minutes to run 2 miles, I normally would have just walked it in. But this time, I didn't. It was slow, it was ugly, but it was a mental victory for me to keep running. I crossed that finish line knowing that I put in a solid effort, and I have no regrets about the race whatsoever.
Final time, 5:52. Overall race happiness on a scale of 1 to 10: 10. I got to check off every goal I had coming in to it. Most importantly, I had fun. I also am coming to grasp that I just knocked out a half as if it was just another day of training. (It was. Dang.)

Here is where my sappy side kicks in. Up to this point in training, I have had ZERO confidence in myself. I've had a few good workouts here and there, but let's face it - I let myself goooooooooooo after Longhorn and it's been an uphill battle since. I'm nowhere as strong, lean, fit, confident, etc.... as I was in October. However, I had more fun (and performed better) at Lonestar. If that's not evidence of the mental side of training, I don't know what is. (Good race nutrition helps too!)

Who knows what Ironman will hold. I can only hope to have half as good of a race as I did on Sunday. I feel so renewed about training. We are 8 hard weeks + 3 taper weeks away from the big day, and I'm ready to put in the work!

contradictions

Lightbulb Moment Day. I'll spare the details, but I will say that I walked away shaking my head.

I am full of contradictions. Some stupid....
I am chewing about 15 pieces of sugar loaded bubble gum (yes, at once), yet I only left the dentist's office 4 hours ago, promising to take better care of my teeth.

Some far more important....
I fancy myself a great communicator, and yet I'm often horrible at communicating what I want. I tell people that I'm not a mind-reader, yet I expect others to read my mind.

Some that would be much better to deny....
I fancy myself a productive person, yet I really only have about one hour of productivity in me per day. Eek.

And some that would be better to admit than to deny....
I can be the neediest most independent person I know. Oh we could write novels about that, couldn't we?!

Anyway, today, I realized a big contradiction.

Some things will never change, yet nothing lasts forever.

I'm not sure what to do with that one.

Bike Nutrition

I'm going to Houston for conference tomorrow, which means I have to plan and pack my race stuff tonight. I took this picture on Sunday morning - this is just what I needed for a bike/run brick. I'm already anticipating a headache figuring out how to pack for a half ironman four days away!

People say nutrition is the 4th sport of triathlon... they are not kidding!!!
(I can already predict Mike's comment. "Reason #658 I don't bike or swim!")

Love you anyway...

I think that more than anything, what people want out of their lives is acceptance.

We're all a bit crazy, some of us more so than others. But life is somehow okay (and in fact really great) if we're surrounded by people who love us.

What's the old saying? True friends know who you are, but love you anyway.

Thank god for them.

Art at Grandma's

Yesterday was gorgeous, so I took the opportunity to go see my downtown clients and check out the AISD Student Art Show at 111 Congress. Looking at student artwork is so much fun. Some pieces are inspiring, some are hilarious, and many make you tilt your head and just go "hmmmm." I walked away from the show in the best mood, smile planted firmly on my face.

I am tempted to return with a camera to snap photos of my favorite pieces. One was a self portrait - done in Frida Kahlo style - of a boy and two panda bears. The expressions on the pandas' faces were priceless. Another was a cosmic scene with a silver abominable snowman type meteor thing. It had me in stitches. Yet another was a barnyard scene, where everything was labeled, including the pig and the "mud for pig." I'm thinking you have to see it to get it, but this piece just warmed my heart. Oh, and then there was the self portrait with what looked like a dead Homer Simpson in the background. That one was, um, interesting.

AISD definitely has some talented kids. It was so cool to see the pieces done in the styles of Kandinsky, Miro, Mondrian, Escher, Kahlo, Seurat, Monet, Cezanne, etc... Sure, I can name drop famous artists all day - but that's probably more of an ego thing to make up for the fact that I have no artistic ability. However, I do think it would be so cool to be an art teacher.

So, speaking of student art... I created this drawing/painting/something when I was in elementary school. It was a self portrait of me standing in a field of flowers. My grandmother framed it and hung it in her bathroom, where she would see it all the time. When she died, my family was cleaning her place and I remember standing and looking at my piece, hanging on the wall. Bless her heart, it was hung upside down! I'm not sure I had ever realized it! I guess that goes to show how fabulous of an artist I am. :) But my grandma, she loved me so much that she hung something so hideous you couldn't tell which way was "up" in one of the most prominent places in her apartment.

My Grandma was one of my best friends. She was my greatest advocate, supporter and my biggest fan. I miss her something fierce, but I feel lucky to have memories like this to cherish forever. Even if they are of my student artwork hanging upside down on her walls. For some reason, that makes it all the more special for me.

I hope the artwork hanging at 111 Congress will soon hang on the walls of relatives who love the artists as much as my Grandma loved me.

ENOUGH!!!!

Rant starts... now.

People. (Friends.) You are training for an Ironman. You are doing something incredible. The fact that you are out there, conquering the miles, conquering the distance, muscling through this both physically and mentally.... THAT is amazing.

Who cares what place you finish. Who cares what the clock says at the end. What does any of that matter, really? Does the person who finishes at the top feel that much differently than the person who finishes last? I would doubt it... I bet he/she has the same insecurities, doubts, regrets.... the "I should have done this" or "I still suck!" mentality.

I've never completed an Ironman. So who am I to say. But I remember how much FUN I had when I did my first marathon. I didn't care that I was slow. I didn't care that I walked half the race. I didn't care that 90% of the people I trained with beat me. I took on that challenge, conquered it, and I was PROUD of myself. I want that for Ironman. I want that for you, too!!!

(I'm going to do my best to practice what I preach here.)

Okay, rant.... Done!

Book Club With Myself

I want to start a book club, but I know full well that adding one more thing to my plate at the moment would be a silly thing to do. So instead of being accountable to other people, and reading books I might not want to read, I'm participating in a book club with myself. Pretty cool, huh?

You know what else is cool? Flagging pages with post it notes. I'm reading "As Time Goes By" by Abigail Trafford. I'd heard her on NPR a year or so ago, so I was interested to see a new book by her while I was perusing the library. It certainly was not what I was expecting - the premise is a discussion about what happens to people regarding love and marriage post 50 years old - but it is fascinating none the less. As we live longer, in a society with different expectations and standards, the ideas behind marriage and partnership are changing. The aim of this book is to help people navigate romance and love later in life.

I was going to write about the things I've flagged, but I've since thought better of it. However, I will share one part that I found very interesting:

The socio-emotional selectivity theory of aging. Basically, people are more selective with their social networks as they age. Networks are smaller, but more meaningful and more stable. People need about 10 people in their core group (family, friends, etc.) If you get down to 3, you may become too emotionally isolated. Some couples have too much togetherness, thus the balance between intimacy and independence is out of whack. So, you have to make an effort to hone your circle. You cannot have one person be all things; you need different people to fulfill different needs, to confer social status and offer acceptance. Also, single people often use their intimate circle of friends as their "marriage." They become more likely to nurture this circle throughout the different chapters of life, and cherish their strong social network.

I completely agree with this. When I was a kid, my mom's mission was to ensure that I had a life filled with friends and activities. (She said recently that she never anticipated quite how much I would take this on!) I'm so thankful for my core group - I really would be lost without them. Each person fulfills a different need, offers different perspectives and elevates the quality of my life.

Anyway, I'll be happy to share other parts of the book offline. I definitely recommend it! Perhaps when my schedule calms down eventually, I might expand my book club to more than just one member. You gotta provide your own post-its, though!

Ah, to be 16 again

I found this picture yesterday and could not help but smile. To be 16 again, without many (real) cares in the world.
I am thinking that it might time for me to find some gummy peaches & sharks and go on a trip! Any takers?

stuff to share....

I haven't been sleeping much lately, and often times I wake up at 2:30 or 3:00. I pass the the time staring at my phone, reading the blogs on my Google Reader. I was pretty impressed with what I read this morning, and I thought I would share some parts. If you get a chance, I really recommend reading the original posts, which I linked.

Carrie / Motivation & A Few Mental Notes

"So, there it was...my first really long training weekend of this season and it was solid and successful. So why am I doing this again?? You know...I'm not sure really because there is no black and white, well-defined trophy at the end. There's no money earned or accolades from adoring fans. My reasons are endless and few all at the same time. I'm doing it because at the end of a long day (even when I've bitched and moaned about being tired and sore and cranky), I'm just plain HAPPY. (mental note #4: If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad)."

Elizabeth / The Guts of T3 Athletes

"As adults, I think we tend to only want to do things that we do well. We don't want to make fools our of ourselves. We don't try new things because we fear we might fail. We can get caught in the rat race mentality that it's not worth doing if it doesn't get us anywhere. And heaven forbid we should not be the best at whatever we do.

But triathlons are humbling in that way. For most of us, there's (at least!) one part of the training that we just don't do as well as the next guy/gal. There's typically one piece of it that always takes more physical or mental or emotional energy because it's just harder than some other part.

Yes, for each one of us it's something...or a lot of somethings. But for some reason (and I think that reason is also different for each of us), we keep showing up. We keep getting back out there - on the road, at the PTC, on the Town Lake trail, in the water - and pushing ourselves a little more. And that, in my opinion, takes guts and courage.

And lastly, my favorite of all. My friend Barbara, who I love to quote from time to time, and who is not doing a triathlon or anything like that - she is just LIVING.

Barbara /Leaving the Comfort Zone:

"It’s those times we have felt challenged, when we have confronted fear or failure or harsh elements that we remember and cherish. It’s when we have left our comfort zone that we feel most alive."

“Everyone needs a quest as an excuse for living,” Bruce Chatwin (author, adventurer)

In the Middle...

"It just takes some time,
little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine.
Everything, everything will be all right."
-Jimmy Eat World, The Middle (played on repeat for the last 2 miles of today's run.)

I'm totally a song lyrics girl. Every other song I hear seems to be written just for me!!! At least in my head. :) Today, this song hit home. Everything WILL be all right.

I am so pumped. This weekend's training ROCKED!!!!

Saturday, I was supposed to ride 80 miles & run 50 minutes. I was dreading the brick run, so instead, I just kept riding. Before I knew it, I was at 91 miles. When Dionn called to check on me (bless her heart - she was driving up and down Escarpment looking for me), I told her, "I'm gonna ride as long as I can to avoid running!" "Silly girl," she replied. Yup, pretty much!

It was a great ride. Alisa was the perfect culprit to my "change my plans every few minutes" mentality. After continually changing our route, we got 80+ miles in via SW Parkway, 71, 620, Parmer, 360 & Mopac. I had to drive parts of it later that evening, and I was honestly amazed at how much ground we covered.

Some Saturday visuals:

My locked chain at mile 50. Notice it's wrapped all the way around my pedal. What a mess... but I fixed it! (And didn't crash when it locked, either. Both good things.)
My total mileage. I was admittedly tired, but with the right nutrition for the last 20 (extra) miles, I could have pulled out 112 miles - no problem.
The benefits of doing a century. I got full service when Maggie & I went to the store to pick up her dining table. I'm not sure Maggie took me seriously when I said I was hopping on, but she honestly pushed me through the store while other people stared at us. Thanks, M!

This morning, I knocked out 20 running miles!!! I use the term "knocked out" loosely, as often times it was more of a shuffle than a run. Regardless, I covered the distance, and I could have kept going for 6.2 miles more. Glad I didn't have to, but I could have.

So... where does this leave me? Right in the middle. I'm so much better than when I started in January, yet nowhere near to my level of fitness achieved at Longhorn. I will get better. For now, I'm right where I need to be. My confidence is up, my fitness is improving, I'm honing my nutrition and I am really enjoying the ride.

"Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else."

Talk about a confidence booster of a weekend. I now know I can do this crazy thing called Ironman. Might not be pretty, definitely won't be fast, but I know I can do it.

Great Uncle Win

My great uncle (or great great uncle, not sure) celebrated his 100th birthday on Friday the 13th.

Uncle Win was pretty amazing... though I never met him, I watched him deliver the commencement address to Linfield College on YouTube. He was coherent, funny, inspiring... all at 99! It was obvious that he was living a life filled with inspiring those around him. Before his birthday, he gave a great interview to the local paper. To read the perspective and memories of someone who was alive when the first cars came out, when there used to be dance cards at formal dances, who lived through the Great Depression.... it is just fascinating. I wish I had met him.

From what my dad tells me, what Uncle Win wanted in life was to live to be 100. And last Friday, he did it. He was surrounded by friends and family - my grandfather and aunt made the trek from Ohio to Oregon to be there - and it sounded like a wonderful celebration.

The next night, he had another celebratory party, and he was surrounded by everyone dear to him. In the middle of dinner, he had a heart attack and died. 100 years old & a day.

I'm pretty sure we all want to leave this place without pain, doing something we love and/or surrounded by those we love. I've seen far too many recent deaths that are too tragic to comprehend. Uncle Win lived to be 100. He celebrated his birthday with those he loved most, and then quickly and suddenly, without pain, he passed. In my opinion, that is a pretty amazing way to go.

Swimming

I'm really starting to like swimming again. In fact, the only thing I don't like about it is that it takes me forever to get showered and ready once I'm done.

Anyway, swimming is awesome. Today I met some of the team for an open water swim at Barton Springs. First time back in the open water in weeks. First time back in the wetsuit. 2400m on the schedule. Ready... set... go!

Wow, Barton Springs is so clean!!!! I'm not sliding all over the place. I can see fish! It's so pretty! It's cold, but not too cold! My wetsuit actually feels good! Kick, 2, 3, Kick, 2, 3....

Ouch! How come I always headbutt the duck decoy? Oh well, keep going...

Ouch! I hit it again! Out of this entire pool, why do I keep running into that?

Ouch! That was a person this time. Oops. Maybe I need to site better?

Oh, there's a lady with a noodle! Maybe she is friends with Bouncy Noodle Guy!

Kick, 2, 3, Kick, 2, 3....

Arms are tiring. This wetsuit is making my whole body a bit tired... Almost done though...

Ironman is nearly twice this distance I'm doing today? Yikes!

Keep going... oh, close call with the duck again...

And... DONE!

What a beautiful morning! Even if nearly every inch of me was covered in some type of spandex. :) I'm pleased to say that I've re-embraced swimming again.

The Old Model

Broken record here... but again, I shall blog about art. I LOVE the Blanton Museum. It's a place that I don't frequent enough, but I know I can show up anytime and leave feeling inspired.

I've been wanting to see the "Birth of Cool" exhibit, so I headed to the Blanton yesterday. (It was a rare "off day" where I actually had energy to get off of my couch!) The exhibit was cool, but took me only about 15 minutes to browse through. I was more impressed with the atrium installation, honestly. The entire atrium is a piece called "Stacked Waters" and is just beautiful.

My favorite part of going to the Blanton is climbing the staircase, heading east through the Western paintings, through the "torso/statue" room, and into the grand room of Modern & Contemporary Art. I am always somewhat stunned when I walk in. Every time, it takes my breath away. I will look around, see what's new, then head to the little room to the right which houses some incredible pieces. Yesterday, I fell in love with one that I've seen many times, but never really "seen." The Old Model, by Robert Henri:
What I found really inspiring was the poem written next to the painting. The Blanton is doing a program of displaying poems inspired by certain paintings. The poem was fantastic and really made me look at this piece differently. I just love it. I'm honestly smiling as I write this just thinking about it.

There were so many other great new things to see. I felt like a giddy little girl at a candy store!

We are so blessed to have such an incredible museum smack dab in the middle of Austin. The Blanton is amazing. Just amazing.

The Overthinking, Bomb Squad, Only Child

I have said it before, but I think Elizabeth is brilliant. Actually, in addition to being brilliant, I think she is wise. (This, I think, is actually far more beneficial in life.) I'm not alone by the way - she was T3 Athlete of the Month, and the response to her has been awesome to see. Yay ETG!!!!

Tonight we were chatting about something, and of course she said something brilliantly wise. When I pointed out how she always adds new perspectives to things, she said:

"I blame it on my only-childness...LOTS of time to think things over. Seriously, sometimes people have to tell me to stop thinking...and I think they are right! When it's reflection, it's good...when it's over-thinking it can be not so good!"

This got me thinking. I mean, reflecting. I often wonder if I hadn't had to entertain myself for so long, would I spend so much time thinking and overthinking things? Taking that to a different level, would I find myself needing so much challenge in my life? It has been pointed out that I like to take things right to the edge, then step back and untangle what I've done.

It's true. Lots of times, I will (theoretically!!) build a bomb, sneak in somewhere, hide it, set the timer, run outside... and then do everything I can to diffuse it before it blows up. And why? The challenge, of course. (Plus, maybe, I feel like a hero? Oh geez, here is me overthinking again!)

Sheesh. I know I can't totally blame this on my only-childness. But... I do think E is right. Being an only child, i.e. spending a ton of time by yourself, makes you do and think some crazy stuff.

I am getting better. Doesn't always mean I won't go building bombs, but at least I am starting to recognize when I put on my "bomb squad" suit. That is a step, right?

Anyway, that's all. I was going to blog about socio-emotional selectivity theory, but that's for another day. :)

Mr. Bouncy Noodle Guy

Every once in a while, I come across a blog post that brings me to tears - laughing, that is. I must share my friend Jim's thoughts on Hotel Fitness Rooms. Hilarious. My abs hurt from laughing so hard.

His stories of the people exercising at hotels leads me to share about Mr. Bouncy Noodle Guy at the gym today.

As I was doing my recovery swim, I spotted this funny little man pacing around. An attempt to describe him as politely as possible, I will say that he was about 50 years old, very skinny, not from this country and was wearing gigantic green swim trunks that he kept pulling up to his nipples.

Back and forth he went, pacing around the pool.... into the steam room... out of the steam room.... into the hot tub.... out of the hot tub.... over the equipment to grab a noodle (!?).... back and forth by the pool... and.... into the lane next to me. All was fine until I started breathing to my right. Because here is where I looked over to see that this guy had straddled a noodle and was attempting to bounce down the lane. Bounce. Bounce. Adjust his noodle. Bounce.... Honestly, I almost drowned I was laughing so hard and choking on water.

But it gets better... I headed to the hot tub when I was done, and in he comes. Guess he'd had enough noodle bouncing. Then I head to the steam room, which is not steamy, and he enters with a bottle of water. He walks over to the sign that says "DO NOT POUR WATER HERE" and is about to pour water everywhere. He's stopped, which in itself was funny, but then he proceeds to sit down right next to me. Seriously, the remaining seating area was empty. Why did he have to sit right next to me!?

Sheesh. Jim, don't be surprised if he ends up at one of your hotel fitness centers! At any rate, I hope he got a good workout in with his noodle.

a few things...

Just brainstorming a few of the things that are really important to me right now.

1) My family. It's just Mom, Dad & me... but they are number one for me. I'm blessed for them.

2) My friends. They love me regardless, no matter how much of an idiot I am. They support me, console me, motivate me and share in my life.

3) My training group. I admit it, I need this group. I was not feeling the urge to go to Core this morning, but I knew I needed the energy of the team. An hour later, I left feeling invigorated. I have NEVER left this group feeling worse than when I showed up. There's really not a lot of things you can say that about.

4) My training. It seems to be the first thing to go when things get tough... but I have recommitted and am feeling so much better about myself. Yesterday actually felt like I was training for an Ironman - and I was surprised at how happy that made me.

5) Love. Whether in the form of a sweet email or a giant hug, I am a complete sucker for love right now. I usually try to strong and selfless, but right now I'm admitting defeat... and I'm openly needy.

That's it. When thinking about what's important right now, that's what comes to mind.

Giant Mushroom Forest

I shuffled my way around Lady Bird Lake on Friday afternoon. When I say shuffled, I mean it. I resorted to a "run 1/4 mile, walk 1/4 mile" strategy to get through 10 miles. After my typical personal temper tantrum/meltdown at mile 2, I realized... What do they call the person who finishes last at Ironman? An Ironman. Yup.... I really really do not care if I walk this damn race. It was nice to come to terms with that. I mean, really come to terms. It's all about finishing this thing... enough with the pressure already.

Acceptance felt pretty good, and it made the remaining 8 mile journey much more enjoyable. But the best part was at mile 9.5 or so, when I stumbled across the Giant Mushroom Forest!
In case you don't plan on stopping to check out WHY there are 3 giant mushrooms growing roadside in the park, here are the details. This piece is part of Austin's Art in Public Places program, specifically for this year's Texas Biennial. So. Freaking. Cool.

From the artist:
Giant Mushroom Forest is part roadside attraction, part stage set, part garden statuary. Public sculpture is always an encounter with something unexpected in the real world. In this case, the oddness of the art experience is itself a metaphor for other odd experiences, symbolized by those iconic fungi. The piece is made of concrete and metal lath over a foam armature and weighs roughly 2000 lbs. All the materials came from Home Depot. It took about three weeks to build it in my back yard in Houston. Stay tuned for the life-sized wooly mammoth.

How It's Supposed to Be

My friend Barbara and her family left Texas two years ago and moved everything to New Zealand. Her son, Andrew, did a triathlon this past weekend. As I was reading this, I couldn't help but think, "This is how it's supposed to be."

A kid's perspective on triathlon.

"There might be bad parts, but usually when I do something like this I have a whole lot of fun."

Quite insightful, little guy! However, this is what really lit me up: "I passed like 5 people at the beginning, but once we went around one of the corners a kid smacked into me and I fell off my bike. I got right back on and started biking again."

I love it. I hope you enjoy!

analyze this...

My close friends keep telling me I overthink and overanalyze everything. I think they may be right.

So... guess what I'm doing about it. Yes, that's right. I'm overthinking and overanalyzing why I overthink and overanalyze.

I'm driving myself crazy. I wish my mind would just SHUT UP.

Seriously. I need a break.
_________________

In other news, my injury from December is back - except it switched legs. I should be rolling and icing and healing, but I'm not. (I actually caught myself analyzing all the reasons WHY I'm not. If only I spent that much time getting on the foam roller, I might have a shot at nipping this injury a bit quicker. Sheesh.)

Post Secret Sunday

Every Sunday morning, I read Post Secret and look for the secret that resonates most.