Thursday, May 22, 2008

Cutting Wit, from Woot Shirt

I would never actually wear this shirt, but I still find it (and the accompanying write up) hilarious.


MAN 1: Someone do something! There’s gushing, spurting red gore everywhere, oh god, it’s horrible.
MAN 2: Whoa, looks like he really “lost his head.” Heh, heh.
MAN 1: What’s the matter with you, you sicko? Don’t you see what’s happened here?
MAN 2: Sorry, I know. Tragic. Didn’t mean to make light. Say, what’s that in the road… ahead? Heh, heh.
MAN 1: You’re sick! Sick! How can you be so flippant? It’s… oh, horrors, it’s spraying all over, it’s on my glasses.
MAN 2: Yeah, you’ll be “seeing red” now. Heh, heh.
MAN 1: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Are you a complete sociopath? I can’t believe—oh, thank goodness, the ambulance has arrived.
EMT: Whoa, that’s one way to try “topless dancing.” Heh, heh.
MAN 1: Agggh! You freaks! You horrible freaks!
MAN 2: Aw, where’s your sense of humor? Try to be more like that guy—look, he’s laughing his head off. Heh, heh.
MAN 1: Aiiiie! Oh, mister ambulance guy, I beg you, please, put something over the body or something. I can’t bear to see this.
EMT: Yeah, sure, no problem, I got a sheet right here.
DECAPITATION VICTIM: A sheet? Great, can you cover me, doc? I’m a little short!
DECAPITATION VICTIM, EMT, MAN 2: Heh, heh.

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