Happy as Mongoose: It's almost baby time!

There is really no easy way to start a blog post that conveys how my immensely my life is about to change. So I'll just dive right in and hope this makes sense. I mainly want to document this for myself, but if anyone still reads this blog hopefully you find this very long post somewhat interesting.

Growing up, I had very little exposure to babies and young kids. As an only child, I never experienced having a younger brother or sister. I also never got into babysitting, and in fact the one time I tried it I ended up having my mom come over to take charge. When I pictured my life as an adult, I never imagined having a kid. And as I continued my way into adulthood - and much to my parents' dismay - I actively expressed that I didn't foresee myself ever having a kid. However, I did express that I reserved the right to change my mind.

When Joe and I met, neither of us wanted to have children. We were both very content being parents to Sam and June, traveling as much as possible, taking on new adventures like living in Barcelona, remodeling, etc... We would sometimes talk about having a kid, but only in a way where we would be completely vague and noncommittal and self-assured that just being the cool aunt/uncle was enough. Ironically, both of us were coming to our own independent conclusion that perhaps we were missing out on something really special... and perhaps we were actually getting tired of all the travel... and perhaps we did want to settle down... and perhaps we did want to be parents...

As much as I pride myself on being a "great communicator" - and even though we'd been separately mulling the idea of being parents for quite some time - Joe and I didn't actually express these thoughts to each other. In fact, we'd both assumed the other was completely "no kids" and had somewhat moved on from the idea.

Luckily, we had a random moment during our trip to Italy that changed that. While walking through the streets of Florence, we passed a children's apparel store. I saw some really cute outfits and said, "too bad that won't be us." At the same time, Joe saw a couple walking with a little girl in between them. He slowly started saying, "Well. I've been thinking about that..." (Ironically, neither of us saw what set the other one off on this conversation.)

As soon as he started talking, I knew where he was going. But it seemed so surreal that Joe - the person I most assumed never wanted to have a kid - was thinking he might want a kid. And to be honest, I had mentally accepted that we had passed that option. However, we talked about it... a lot... as in it largely became the main topic of conversation throughout our trip... and I spent a lot of time thinking about the implications of having a kid:

We could no longer live in different cities, which also meant
I'd likely have to quit my job
We should probably stop looking at houses on the East Side, and consider school districts in our search
We wouldn't be able to travel as much
I'd be a high risk pregnancy given my age, and that was assuming I could even get pregnant
We'd be giving up our dreams of moving to a new city, likely either Seattle or even more hopefully Sydney

About four days later, Joe and I were walking the walls of Lucca, and we sat down and again started the same discussion, to kid or not to kid. After I expressed all my concerns for the umpteenth time, we decided we would just go for it and see what happened. I was pretty skeptical, but we agreed to not put pressure on ourselves.

I went to my OB/GYN when I returned for Italy for a pre-baby consult. She advised me to give it a go naturally for about 3-6 months and see what happened. I downloaded an app, bought some cheap test strips off Amazon, followed her instructions, and... by the end of January I was pregnant! (There's a story about me thinking that asparagus had given me a false positive... and that's why baby girl is nicknamed Gussy. I'm smart sometimes.)

The next ten weeks were crazy. I thought everything was happening a little too perfectly, and I was terrified that something was going to happen. Every time we went to the doctor, I felt like I was going to have a mini panic attack. I was working on a pretty intense case in Dallas and didn't tell anyone on my team nor my family. It was really hard not to be around Joe during this time, and also having to keep everything a secret.

Luckily, I did have a two month leave of absence on the books for March-April. While we were originally planning to spend six weeks in Australia, and potentially elope there, Joe & I instead ended up buying a new house (in a better school district!) and opted to use that time to move, sell his house, and plan and hold our wedding in the new backyard. During that time, I also received a job offer for a position in Austin that was really too good to pass up. This meant that I'd be able to move back to Austin, still work with BCG, travel much less, and put myself in a position to be a mom. Even though there was a ton of change, everything was falling into place.

By mid March, we were finally able to start sharing the news with our close friends and family. I will always cherish the expression on my parents' faces when we broke the news. Everyone we told was completely shocked, given that they had no idea we were even trying. We publicly announced our pregnancy on Facebook two days after our wedding, and ever since then it's actually felt real.

So.... that leads me where I am now. I never expected to be a mom, and I'm alternately terrified and excited about what's to come. (Mostly excited!) It's been so fun to watch Joe transition from baby-fearing to getting excited about tiny hats and socks. He's going to be such a great dad.