Death of Triathlon

For me, the sport of triathlon is dead.

It's been on life support since a bit after Ironman last year. I gave it one last chance to make a comeback - at a sprint triathlon in early July. While the comeback effort was fun, it didn't take. In fact, it might just have been the thing that killed the sport for good.

I've been doing triathlons since 2005. First was Danskin, then came Seaworld... 2006 brought Spenco, Prarieman, Skeese Greets & even some duathlons. 2008 brought races with some age-group placings and a main focus on the Longhorn Half Ironman. 2008 was a banner year. I was the most fit I'd ever been, I was having a blast and I was doing awesome. Then came 2009. I had an obligation to Ironman. I enjoyed it, but not with the same love I had in 2008. Once I crossed the finish line on June 21st, I checked out. Enter life support!

So, I've been doing my fair share of experimenting with different athletic endeavors... belly dancing, being a gym rat, boxing... and they've all been interesting in their own way. I've still been slightly maintaining my tri-abilities, and I put them to the test at Couples. But now that 2 weeks have passed and I still have no interest in picking them up again... I think it's time to admit it. Out loud, to the blogworld and to myself.

The sport of triathlon is dead. For now.

Phew!! With relief, I say that is absolutely fine by me!! It's been an awesome ride... if not an addictive one... and it brought me to where I am now, which is a really happy place where I am free to explore whatever else is out there.

With that, my eulogy shall say, "Thank you, Sport of Triathlon, for getting me to the place I am in now. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I may see you around again one day, but for now I bid you adieu."

*Mind you, I am a gemini. The mere posting of this blog entry may make me change my mind. Wait for it... wait for it... Okay, probably not. :)"

Bucket-ish List

Funny thing... this time last year I just wanted Ironman to be over so I could focus on living a full, well-rounded life again.

I think I took care of that over the past year! However, things are slowing down & I'm getting antsy. (It's what I do!) So, I thought I'd brainstorm a few things that I'd like to do over the next few years. Just put it out there and see what comes of it.... (These are all unrelated to my job & GMW & seeing the world, for the record. Just adding more stuff to my plate!)

1) Become a GOOD public speaker. Rejoin toastmasters. Practice.
2) Learn to cook. Or, more realistically, learn not to fear the kitchen.
3) Keep boxing. And still love it.
4) Write the business plan for my next business. (Goal = next April)
5) Start my own consulting company.
6) Learn Adobe Illustrator.
7) Go back to school.
8) Get scuba certified. Next trip = Belize?
9) Form better relationships with my mentors.
10) Do an internship at a totally different type of company than I'm used to.
11) Become a mentor to others.
12) Learn some carpentry. Be able to fix things myself.
13) Learn how to mosaic.
14) Learn how to landscape.
15) Start playing piano again.
16) Write a book.
17) Write a children's book. (Or series.)
18) Really learn the sport of football... not just a surface level state of knowledge.
19) Win some type of award, like "40 under 40" or "Entrepreneur of the Year" or something like that.
20) Be a recognized "expert" on something. Not sure what, yet... ;)

So, that's a start. :)

Strengths Finder

I went to a luncheon a few weeks ago with a topic of "Strengths Based Organizations." I was so moved by the concept of playing to your strengths versus working on your weaknesses that I bought the book Strengths Finder 2.0 & took the test.

Here are the results:

My Top 5 Themes are:
-->Maximizer (focus on strengths as a way to stimulate personal and group excellence; seek to transform something strong into something superb)
-->Activator (turn thoughts into action)
-->Positivity (contagious enthusiasm; get others excited about what they are going to do)
-->Futuristic (inspired by the future and what could be)
-->Woo (love the challenge of winning people over & making connections)

I read the themes over, thinking "sure... these could apply to anyone." Until I realized there were 34 different themes, and most of them were not like me at all. Upon further reading, I realized that my themes were all, in fact, very true to me.

But then again, I'm a sucker for tests like this. So, I had my trusty mentor look my results over & he agreed fully. In fact, he's said many of my results to me for years, nearly word for word. I'd feel rather silly posting the full results on my blog; the purpose of me writing about them is because they make me feel justified in the direction I am heading.

At this stage of my life, there are no blinking arrows telling me where I need to go next. There is only my intuition and some persistent yearning, and now some better (written) understanding of what I'm good at. (i.e. my strengths.)

I embrace these strengths and will make every effort to put them in the forefront of my future. Long story short - having these 5 results reaffirms my direction.

(For the record, there are no dramatic changes to speak of... but if you know me by now, you know the wheels are always turning...)

Oh yeah...

I forgot what training is like... being tired, sore, wandering aimlesly in a constant search for coffee....

I love it. :)

Speaking of things I love... I've started boxing! Boxing is largely what got me into this fitness mess.... I've always loved it... but I couldn't figure out how to work it back into my schedule once I picked up triathlons. Thanks to a UT informal class + Esther's reassurance, I am now hitting the boxing gym 3x per week. Sure, it's only my second week, but I can easily see how I will become addicted to it. (At least as long as Erin addictions last, which is +/- a year or so.) Pow! Pow! POW!

In other news, I went to Barton Springs this morning for the first time since Ironman. (Um, to be accurate I did go another time, but I just stood in the water for 20 minutes before getting out.) I'm pleased to report that I can still swim 800m nonstop. That's a relief! And I remembered that I like swimming, too! Also, I didn't run into ducks, people or iron posts! Wahoo!

Okay, gotta go find some coffee now...

Reflecting

I just got through opening all the birthday/housewarming cards from Saturday night, and it got me feeling all reflective and stuff. Darn sentimental, sweet & thoughtful cards! :)

So... I've talked recently about my extreme desire to move to Seattle. It's dwindling a bit. Don't get my wrong - I still do want to move there someday - but I'm not quite in the same rush as I was a month ago. See, when I got back, my brand new house felt sterile and lonely. Sure it was pretty, but it didn't feel like home. In fact, nowhere really felt like home. (So why not beautiful Seattle, right?)

Fast forward to Saturday, and my house was full of people I love. Finally, I'm feeling pretty planted in Austin again. In other words, I feel like I have a home again. Yay! Speaking of my full house, I want to give a public thanks to a few people who made it happen for me. First, there was Jess (& Amy I think?!) who catered the whole thing. The food was amazing and Jess was as sweet and wonderful as ever.
Then came cookies from Elizabeth which were suuuuuper yummy. There was also a traditional Alisa-cake complete with lots of fuzzy alien thingies! I love Alisa cakes! Then came perhaps the most incredible piece of food art I have ever seen. This lovely red velvet cake, surrounded by cake balls, housed the most adorable fondant robots I've ever seen. (Come to think of it, I've never seen fondant robots before... but if I had, these still would have been better!) Thank you, Meredith! This was incredible!!!Here I am with Jess & Mer. I love this pic because it reflects how happy I felt (and feel!) these days. And... I'm sharing it with amazing & talented friends! (And a kick-ass forehead sunburn!)
Then there was Mike, who won't admit to actually doing a thing, but for the record - he ran errands all Saturday afternoon on a mission to do last minute "man tasks" for me. Then, he made a very cool slideshow of my build on his I-pad, Gert. (Yep, I-pad has a name. And yes, his name is Gert. Just go with it!) Then, the best thing he did was get my guests to recognize my dad's birthday along with mine. That may have been my favorite part of the night, cause ya know, I kinda like my dad. :) Thanks Mike - you made my dad super happy!
Oh yeah, the Sangria (& ability to keep me sane) was provided by this guy... he's kinda awesome too... ;)
Lastly, the two people who needed to be there more than anyone were able to join me. They cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned, and prepped, and cleaned, and then acted as perfect host & hostess all evening. I am so grateful I got to share the night with them AND introduce them to my Austin family. I love you Mom & Dad! Thanks for making the night so special! :) Dance of joy!

So back to the reflecty-ish stuff... I once again feel like I am the luckiest girl on the planet. Reading people's cards & thinking about Saturday makes my heart feel all warm and happy and stuff.

Yup, I am home now. Happy, happy home.

Sharing!

Birthdays are best when you get to share them! Happy birthday, Dad. I love you!

Training Again

Yesterday, I was hanging out poolside with Joe's family and casually mentioned to his bro-in-law that we should do the Couples Tri together. His response? "Sure, sounds fun." My response? "Oh damn. Why did I open my mouth."

However, some part of me wanted to ask him. If I didn't want to ask him, I wouldn't have. So I responded, "I didn't expect you to say yes, but let me think about it & we'll talk this week." He was already emailing me last night, reminding me that he was in and talking about registration.

This morning I talked to Coach Charles about it. In addition to giving me a little pep talk, he also informed me that the new periodization schedule was posted on the T3 server. It started yesterday. I'm only one day behind. That's doable. And quite timely!

And so it begins again. Two years ago I placed 3rd in my division @ Couple's thanks to my awesome partner D. I was in amazing shape. Couples was easy. This year, it will be hard. It will be dreadfully hilly. It will be an interesting swim. It will be a hot, hot run. But, it will also be fun. There's no pressure this time. There's no hiding that I'm out of tri-shape. There will be no hiding that I'm happy to be out on the race course, either. It's gonna be okay!

I am so excited to train again. I knew the time would come when I'd be ready to pick it back up. It's fitting that I'm starting it all over on the week I start a new decade. It's also so cool to start training again because I want to - not because I have to or need to. I love my life right now, and it'll be fun to see how adding training back in with a positive outlook works out.

The Crab Pot Feast... A Photo Montage

Thanks, Joe. I'm so glad we did this! :)

Seattle Recap

I like bullet points today. Thus, I shall recap our Seattle trip via bullets. Pow Pow Pow!

Joe & I went to Seattle last week/weekend. I may have liked the city.... a bit...

Things we saw in Seattle:

• Pike's Market (including absolutely amazing flowers & seafood)
• Steinbrueck Park (nearly empty on a cloudy weekday & jam packed on a sunny weekend)
• Seattle Aquarium (jellyfish! octopus! salmon! sea otters! pure ocean awesomeness!)
• Ferry Ride (x 2... to Bainbridge Island & Bremerton. The city is beautiful from the water. The islands, um, were islandy? What else to say, what else to say...)
• Pioneer Square (which happened to home to First Thursday Art Walk - while we didn't fancy any art in the galleries, we loved the neighborhood.)
• Seattle Art Museum (which was free on First Thursday - score!)
• Coffee + Harbor Steps
• Kasala, which was a random furniture store filled with robots. I was giddy as could be.
• Woodinville Wine Country: Columbia Winery, Chateau St. Michele & Redhook Ale Brewery. (The damage = 24 glasses of wine and countless beer, and the happiest boyfriend I have ever seen)
• The monorail (Yes, monorail! monorail! mono-wha?!)
• Seattle Center: Space Needle, EMP, the artwork from our Frommer's guide
• Olympic Park (i.e. what heaven must look like)
• Waterfront (complete with a Maritime festival of boats, boat building, etc.)
• Downtown
  
• Fremont Farmer's Market (which was representative of how awesome/organic/funky/etc. that little neighborhood is)
• Fremont Troll (see above)
• Public Transportation
• The nicest, friendliest, kindest people I could have imagined.

Places we ate...and ate... and ate... (and drank!)

• Dragonfish (Amazing sushi restaurant we found our first night.)
• Lowell's in Pike's Market (amazing Seattle-esk view)
  
• Crabpot (Seafood Feast per Man vs. Food. We totally conquered!)
• Blue Acre (halibut + asparagus. so. much. asparagus.)
• Top Pot Donuts (2 giant donuts was an interesting pre-wine tasting breakfast. soooo good)
• Redhook Brewery (best nachos ever. And I think Joe would have gone swimming in the beer if at all possible)
• Etta's & Dahlia Lounge (crabcakes + dungeoness crab salad + desert = om my!)
• Tikilum Cafe (eggs benedict & dutch babies. best breakfast ever.)
• Nola's on Bainbridge Island
  
• Ivar's Clam House for drinks
• Elliot's (oysters + scallops + halibut cheeks + raspberry lemon sorbet.)
• Top Pot Donuts, round 2 (I mean, gourmet donuts. C'mon! We couldn't just go once!)
  
• Anthony's (surprisingly good airport food. salmon sandwich goodness)

Takeaways

• I want to move to Seattle. I don't mean "oh, it's so pretty, what a nice place to live" kind of move there. I mean, "I am already looking at job options & real estate. I am considering the logistics of a move." Granted, it wouldn't be for a year or so... and I need to check it out when the weather isn't as gorgeous... but... I just felt a connection to the city, and I know I want to be there.
• The people there were so friendly. I had no trouble making friends and barraging them with questions about moving to Seattle.
• I'm so glad I eat seafood now. The food was incredible. I'm going to eat it all the time when I live there.
  
• I loved Fremont - and that's where I think I'll look first when I move there.
• Did I mention I want to move to Seattle?
• I need to take more vacations, and that might ease my desire to move to my first vacation destination in years. (Probably not. Seattle is just that awesome.)
• First trip with Joe = 100% complete success. Not that there was any doubt, for the record! We had a blast together. He didn't even express annoyance at the extreme amount that I talked about moving to Seattle. ;)

So yeah... Seattle... um... AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

What 1:34 Costs...

My current best mile time is an 8:40. One & a half years ago it was a 7:06. I lost 1:34 for my all-out mile time. Typically, that loss of fitness would really upset & frustrate me. However, it mainly just got me thinking... what did that 1 minute + 34 seconds cost me?

It allowed me the opportunity to focus more on my job without being worried about making workouts, being tired all the time, etc... (Here I am at our holiday party, and that's actually the U.T. stadium screen with our logo glowing on it.)
It allowed me to focus on my company... which included being on a national television show, winning, meeting amazing mentors, and gaining opportunities I never thought possible...
It afforded me the opportunity to meet Joe, his family and friends, and experience a level of happiness I could never have expected...
It allowed me to purchase & completely remodel my house, putting as much energy into it as possible, and provide me with a finished product that I absolutely adore... (Here I am flipping on the electricity for the first time.)
That 1:34 is going to be really hard to get back. I'm not even sure I care about getting it back, to be honest. And it's not like the past year & a half have been a cakewalk either. They've been filled with ups and downs too... but I wouldn't trade any of it.

So, I guess the answer is that 1:34 didn't cost me a single thing... In fact it afforded me more opportunities than I would have ever thought possible.

Bert

Joe is awesome... he made me the perfect housewarming gift & surprised me with it on move-in day. I'd like to introduce Blue Version 2.0... i.e. Bert!
(I don't know why his name is Bert... it just came to me. :))

"run workout!"

Once upon a time, many many months ago, I would attend these "events" called "run workouts." Odd things, they were. There was a coach, who would tell you what to do, and then you would... *gasp*... run.

But then stuff happened and I stopped attending these "run workouts." I completed the race I was training for (Longhorn); I was injured; I hated running in the afternoon heat; and most of all, I was lazy and just hated to run.

However... thanks to some prodding by some bunnies (Carrie & Vegas to be exact), I found myself at Auditorium Shores this morning at an actual coached run workout!

It was so hard!
I am so not where I used to be!
I was red-faced as ever when I was done!
and...

I now feel like I accomplished something for the day!
I think I might just be motivated enough to attend these workouts!
I had so much fun running with Vegas!
I didn't collapse from nearly 1.5 years of not running consistently!
It was awesome!
I want to do it again!

Perhaps E is gettin' her groove back? I hope so!

PINK!

Yay Pink!!!

On the last day of 2008, I posted this about my newly painted green bedroom. At that time I had no idea that I'd be taking the same type of picture just a few houses down the street, in my new pink office. Kinda funny.
Yay Pink!

The move got pushed back a week, which is perfectly okay with me. It will give me a bit more time to get organized. Plus, I won't have to pack anymore... I'll just get a big cart and make trips up and down the street as I so please.

One more thing... YAY PINK! :)

Moving.

I'm moving 2 weeks from today. Granted, I'm only moving about 8 houses away. But, I'm moving. Moving away from my adorable little rent house which I've occupied for the past 27 months.

That little white house represents a period of my life when I became, well, me. When I spent times sobbing harder than I've ever cried in my life, and also times when I experienced things I never imagined possible. It represents loss and heartbreak. It represents rebuilding and growth. It represents my independence, yet also my need for companionship and acceptance. It represents learning that I will always land on my feet, that I deserve to be happy and that I will never truly be lonely.

It's hard to even comprehend how different I am today versus the day I moved in. And yet I'm still just as much the same. (And that's just fine with me.)

By the way, my friend Barbara posted this yesterday and I love it.

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." Anatole France

When life gets in the way...

I've been getting emails lately asking if I'm okay. Apparently if I'm not smiling 24/7, a small alarm goes off and the instant reaction is "Something is wrong with Erin!"

For the record... I'm fine. But I am ridiculously tired and ridiculously FULL. Full of really great, fantastic, wonderful things.... But still, I'm full.

I think opting to forgo Ironman this year was one of the best things I could have done, because my workouts seem to get cut first. I'm making it to less and less spin classes these days, which is sad since they were always the one workout I wouldn't sacrifice regardless of how busy I was. Nowadays, sleep trumps spin the majority of the time. I haven't ridden my bike outside for over 5 miles but once since CdA. I haven't run outside since Christmas, and I've run inside maybe 2-3 times. I have swam 4 times, I think? That might be rounding up, actually! I still try to hit the gym most days, but if Chris isn't there I don't go. Needless to say, Erin's 2010 Fitness: Fail.

I feel really disconnected to my training friends because I honestly can't relate to what they are up to. I support them of course, but I also think they are crazy. In a good way, for the most part :). Then there is the jealousy, that feeling that I wish I could be doing what they are doing. Then comes the negative self-talk, "if you just would wake up earlier and be more consistent and eat better and carve out more time..." Ugh, make it stop please!!!!

Another interesting thing I'm finding about not training for anything is that I don't see my friends as much. I miss them. I can't remember the last time I saw some of my friends, and that distresses me. I try to carve time for them, but without that shared interest/goal - it's really difficult. I definitely don't see my friends as much as I'd like, and at times I feel a lot of guilt for not making more of an effort.

So, back to the part where I seem a bit "off." Lots of good things are rocking my world right now. They just so happen to be really big things, that need lots of time and energy and attention and focus. Unfortunately, being an athlete didn't make the cut this year, and training (plus my friendships) is something that kept me pretty grounded.

On a positive note, when I stop for a moment to look back at all the things I've learned recently, via my job, my business, my house, and my relationships, I am amazed. I am indecisive and decisive all wrapped up in one. I am having fun yet I am completely stressed out. I am proud and I am scared. I am determined. I am busy as can be. I am laughing at myself a lot. I am living and I am full. So even if I seem a bit "off" I'm still the same happy E on the inside.

(By the way, I really do appreciate being asked.)

Super Dad!

Why do I look so happy in this picture? Because I'm hanging with my dad, of course! As I mentioned before, I was in San Antonio on Thursday teaching continuing education classes. My dad mentioned he would be in SA for a charity wine tasting that evening. So, I quickly invited myself along to be his assistant. He's the rep for the wine glass company shown in the pictures - and he does these events all the time. However, the CEO of the company would be leading this tasting which made it extra special.

Here is what the room looked like. Lots and lots of wine glasses! The premise of a wine glass tasting is to show the benefits of these wine glass, which truly are the best in the world, against "joker" glasses -i.e. the ones most of us drink from every day. It's always a blast to hear everyone's reactions when they taste the same wine in a joker glass versus the high end glass. Lots of oohs & aahs.
Here is my dad setting up. Check out the beautiful decanters on the left and different types of glasses to the right.... let's just say it pays to be my dad's daughter. ;) Wine anyone?
The event was wonderful - and the president/CEO was highly entertaining. I was lucky enough to have dinner with him after the event and was sure to grill him about anything and everything regarding his business plan. (I think I wore him out with all my questions... but, it's what I do! I like business!)

The best part of the event was being a "nobody" except for just being my dad's daughter. Everyone thought I was still in college and had no knowledge of my background whatsoever. Thus, the focus of almost all of my conversations was on my dad. And pretty much every conversation went like this. "You are Buzz's daughter? Oh, we just LOVE your father. He is such a wonderful man and we are blessed to have him here." (I concur!!!) Even though I'm just the daughter, I felt so proud of him. He is the best. Period.

So.... wine tasting was great. Grilling the CEO was great. Hanging out with my dad for the night - THE BEST!

Lucky!

I'll be in San Antonio all day for work...

My dad will be in San Antonio that evening for a wine tasting / charity event...

Which means.... I GET TO SEE MY DAD ON THURSDAY NIGHT!!!!

Yay. :)

Strength

Strength

We don't always have to be strong. Sometimes, our strength is expressed in being vulnerable. Sometimes, we need to fall apart to regroup and stay on track.

We all have days when we cannot push any harder, cannot hold back self-doubt, cannot stop focusing on fear, cannot be strong.

There are days when we cannot focus on being responsible. Occasionally we don't want to get out of our pajamas. Sometimes, we cry in front of people. We expose our tiredness, irritability, or anger.

Those days are okay. They are just okay.

Part of taking care of ourselves means we give ourselves permission to "fall apart" when we need to. We do not have to be perpetual towers of strength. We are strong. We have proven that. Our strength will continue if we allow ourselves the courage to feel scared, weak, and vulnerable when we need to experience those feelings.

Today, help me to know that it is okay to allow myself to be human. Help me not to feel guilty or punish myself when I need to "fall apart."

Life Is Good.

Texas Wine Trail 2010

This weekend has been a fabulous break for me. As much as I act like I can handle everything with ease... at times I reach my breaking point & need to recharge. Sure, that happens to everyone, right? I just have a hard time admitting it. :)

So... what better way to take a break and recharge than to join Joe & his parents on the Texas Wine Tour? (Good thing we scheduled this awhile ago so I couldn't use all the work I have to do as an excuse!)

I am green as can be when it comes to wine. (Which is pretty ironic since my dad reps the #1 wine glass in the world and travels all over doing wine tastings. Anyway....) However, over the past 7 months I've learned some things. Part of that was during a free class at Twin Liquors, which we shared with ETG, Esther & Michelle, and this crazy guy named Fabian (good times!) Part of it is from the guide on the menu at Uncorked. And the rest comes from just trying it. So... this was a great chance to try all types of wine AND experience the Hill Country. Perfect!

Yesterday we hit about 9 vineyards, and it was very interesting to see the difference between the small town vineyards and the big ones off of 290 in Fredericksburg. I like the small ones better. My favorite wines were from Sister Creek Vineyards, Comfort Cellars, and my favorite - Pedernales Cellars. Actually, the Pedernales was our favorite all around, including the people, atmosphere and views. I highly recommend a visit! The most interesting wine we saw was a jalapeno wine at Comfort Cellars- so Texas, huh?

Driving around the Hill Country with the sun shining bright, full of wine and chocolate, with great company... Perfect recharge. And... I get to do it all over again next weekend!

(I even bought some wine... a first for me!)