By the way, I don't really think that 63 dead birds is funny. But these pictures certainly are. Photo Credit
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Poor Birds...
Austin had a bit of a scare on Monday, with the 63 dead birds on Congress Avenue and all. I was thinking that perhaps my friend Jenna had followed through on her plan to eradicate all birds from the world. But apparently, Jenna was not to blame. Someone else did, for some reason, set out some poison. Poor birds. 
By the way, I don't really think that 63 dead birds is funny. But these pictures certainly are.
Photo Credit
By the way, I don't really think that 63 dead birds is funny. But these pictures certainly are. Photo Credit
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8 comments:
You know what is even funnnier about the dead birds? This:
Pigeons, grackles, and sparrows, oh, my! Mystery still surrounds the deaths of 63 birds downtown yesterday. Some of the corpses went to Ames, Iowa, and Texas A&M University for dissection and study, while officials maintain that there is no risk to human life. That’s the end of the accepted news story.
But they don’t tell you the strangest part, simply because they don’t know. We here at The Southpaw Jones Fun Time Gazette, thanks to a source deep inside the investigation, have learned that all 63 birds died of separate, individual causes. That’s right, folks, it was just a coincidence. Our source has provided us with the cause of death for 32 of the birds this morning, and he/she promises the remaining 31 later this week. Without further adieu, here they are:
1. Hollow bones
2. Loneliness
3. Interest Rates
4. Broke Beak Fountain
5. Cancellation of “The OC”
6. Something powerful pressing down
7. Grackle beats sparrow
8. Dreams of providing quills for period films
9. Sparrow beats pigeon
10. Paperwork
11. Oleo
12. Being too graceful for this world
13. Pigeon beats grackle
14. All that incessant flapping
15. Late Fees
16. Introspection
17. “I ran out of songs to sing.”
18. Watched Saddam die, all of life’s goals fulfilled
19. Tryptophan
20. Extreme peckishness
21. Vicious feather mites
22. A big orange cat named Franklin
23. Just jumping on the big bandwagon of bird death
24. A bloody coo
25. Brown paper packages tied up with string
26. Nutella
27. Whiskers on kittens
28. Arranged marriage
29. Early morning power line knife fight. “No one calls me a chicken.”
30. Voluntary marriage
31. Nightingale Syndrome
32. A big ol’ case of the blahs, alright? Are you happy? Just let me be a dead bird, jerk face!
Rest in peace, three little [types of] birds.
Lulu reads Southpaw!
Awesome.
The pix are hysterical.
Lulu- that is some kinda comment...nice!
There are way too many grackles around.
I saw a tv report with some brid expert dude last year, on how it's just going to get worse, and that we've only seeen the tip of the grackle invasion.
You should ask Heather how they get rid of grackels at her environmental consulting firm, much more efficent and precise than killing all of the other pirds too.
Yes, Southpaw is hilarious (thanks Mike for linking to him). The rest of the reasons are now posted at www.southpaw.net if anyone is interested. I will decline to post another GIANT ASS comment since I am sober today.
southpawjones.net
actually that is southpawjones.net
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