Dumped

I got dumped.

I'm pretty heartbroken. I was in love, and this hit hard. We had been seeing each other for some time. We had a shaky start, because I was dating him really just to prove a point. He made sure that I felt a lot of pain and tested me to see if I was committed. After a while, though, things started really working for us. He was a positive influence in my life, and ultimately he made me feel good in ways no one else could. In fact, when I didn't see him for a day or two, I'd go pretty crazy.

The funny thing was that I started other relationships while we were together, and those just made this one stronger. There have been times when I have given much more focus to the others, but he still hung in there with me. That was, until seven weeks ago. Because seven weeks ago, I did something to piss him off and he left. But he didn't just leave; he left angry and made sure I was going to feel it. Physically... Mentally... He even convinced my other relationships to put the hurt on me, too. He left me desperate and sad and lost.

I've been in denial. However it all became clear yesterday. Looking back, it's clear to me that I became very greedy - wanting too much too soon.. I didn't nurture him, or respect my other relationships, either; instead I just took and took and took. He apparently did not appreciate that. (I'm learning, patience is certainly not my strong suit.)

There is hope, though. I am pretty sure he still has feelings for me. He's still around, hanging out with my friends, giving me glimmers of hope from time to time. I'm willing to work hard to get him back. It hasn't been easy, nor will it be. At times, I'm not sure I even want him anymore. Maybe I'll meet someone else who makes me feel even better. Maybe this is for the best.

Yet, I need him. He is part of me. I'm not giving up even though he's making me fight to get him back. I do not take getting dumped lightly, so I will fight.

I will fight, and I will plead.

Running - please, please take me back. I need you.

(haha... the odd stories & analogies I come up with in the middle of a long run. Had to put this one in writing... I'm glad to say that I at least ran the longest nonstop I've ever run yesterday - 14 miles. Well, the word "running" is relative - when walkers pass you, it might not be running anymore.)